Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Not trying to be ungreatful, but I need a break

I am having one of those "Wow, I am a crappy mom" days. This pregnancy is kicking my butt. I have never been so exhausted before. Although things are starting to get a little better now that I am almost 14 weeks along.

I had all of these wonderful expectations of the fun we would have once I was no longer working. Without the 4pm shadow of having to go to work everyday hanging over my head I could get so much accomplished. Great plans of structured activities have been replaced with the misery of trying to pry myself from my bed each morning just to open a pack of pop tarts. All the organization of my upstairs into a use able space is filled with even more unorganization. The laundry is worse than it has ever been. (Feel sorry for Mr. B) But most of all I just need an escape from the every 5 minute mom shout outs for nothing.

After 2 1/2 months of staying home, I am burnt out. Don't get me wrong, I am happy with not having the stress of a job on top of all the other stresses. But, I just need a few hours of uninterrupted me time that involves quiet. You know some guilt free hours on the couch with no requests to get up and do this or get me this except from my bladder. A few hours of guilt free time alone with no hubby nagging me to come to bed because he is tired or wants to talk. I can guarantee I have used my word quota for the day already answering a 4 year olds questions and interrupting an almost 2 year old. I just need a release, I just need to remember who I am.

2 comments:

Ally said...

You'll get through this. Soon you will get in a groove and have things running more smoothly. Its not gonna be perfect but managable. =)

sandy said...

Things will fall into place for you! Routines make things a little easier. Everyone knows what comes next and it helps make life run smoothly. Don't get me wrong, things do not always run perfectly at my house. As I was reading your post, Madelyn dumped a whole bag of broken shells on the carpet I just vacuumed. This came just after she spilled hot chocolate on the freshly scrubbed kitchen floor. The good thing is that not all days are like this. You have to take the good with the bad. Hang in there! I am sure things will balance out soon:0)